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Wow... What a couple of months... Hereapos;s to each of you... And I can pretty much guarantee youapos;ll know who you are...

• I�wish you would get it. I�really do. I�donapos;t want to be the bitch anymore�Iapos;m trying to explain things to you in a way that you will finally fucking understand, but I�can only say things so many times before I�just want to scream at you�I know that itapos;s hard to hear some of the things I�have said to you... But think of it from my point of view. How would you feel if you had these things to say to someone, but they wouldnapos;t get it... No matter how many times you said it over and over again? I�want you to know itapos;s not someone else... I�wouldnapos;t be that shady about it, no matter how much you may disagree. The feeling just isnapos;t there anymore. I�hope you are able to let go, so you can start the healing process and move on. Itapos;s what is best for the both of us.
• You make me sick to my stomach. I�really really hope you never come to me with your relationship issues again, because at this point, I�would probably slap you across the damn face. Weather you realize it or not, I�am ALWAYS going to care about you... I�canapos;t help it, and itapos;s not something I�can help. Itapos;s just there. And to see you get hurt over and over and over, and to continue RUNNING�back... Makes me sick to my stomach. I�know how hard it is... Trust me I�do. But, I also know that it is completely not like you at all to give out a second chance to anyone... Let alone a third, fourth, and however many more she wants. Iapos;m in damn near the same boat you are, and I�know the pain that you feel looking into that childapos;s eyes and seeing the hurt... But itapos;s for the best to move on, and allow yourself to be happy so you can be the father for her that she deserves... The one you never had.
• You need to learn how to watch your mouth. I�know that in your mind, you can say whatever you want about someone to your "friends" and itapos;s not going to get back to the person youapos;re talking about... But it does. EVERY�FUCKING�TIME. And itapos;s not because people are "stabbing you in the back"�and "betraying your trust"... Itapos;s because everyone is sick of your shit, and we like to know what is being said about us�It is honestly past the stage of confronting you about it, because every time itapos;s the same damn thing... "youapos;re going to believe them over me?�They donapos;t even really like you... You should hear what they said to me..."�and the whole vicious cycle starts again. So, instead of putting up with it and pretending everything is all right, people are FINALLY�doing what should have been done a long ass time ago... Walking away. I really hope that you end up happy with whatever you do... I�think that deep down, you really are a nice and caring girl... I�just think that you have a lot of issues you have to clear up.
• Ummm.... So I�love you. I�am so glad that we have started hanging out more�You always cheer me up�You know how I�feel about mr. Cocky, but I trust your judgement in him... You know him better than any of us do, and I�really hope that you make the right choice, cuz you deserve to be treated the best�
• You are so so so much fun to hang out with�Iapos;m sorry that the last couple times weapos;ve hung out have kinda ended on a sour note, but these things have a tendency to happen when alcohol is involved�He loves you... More than you know... And everything will work out exactly how itapos;s supposed to�

Hmm... I�think that might be everything for now... Just needed to get it all out�

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Job searching was bad this week. I applied to a few shoe-ins and a dozen other places, and...well...no one got back to me.

Iapos;m really not sure what to do. It feels like Iapos;m doing something wrong. There must be something I can do to find a job besides scroll through the latest job postings on craigslist every day. But what?

Poop. It looks like the only way Iapos;ll get a job is through dumb luck. I thought four years of going to an esteemed university is supposed to help you find a career.

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Man, what is with Amazon not having any copies of Graham Greeneapos;s Heart of the Matter? I swear this is one of his more popular titles. On Alibris there are like, hundreds of editions.

Last night I was watching the Platinum Edition of Sleeping Beauty (my favorite Disney), particularly for the special feature on Eyvind Earle*. And dude That fool financed the beginning of his career by getting on his damn bicycle in Los Angeles, and then riding to Manhattan. In 42 days. Stopping everyday, to paint the landscapes around him. 42 paintings, in 42 days. Which he then submitted to a gallery in New York, got a show... And sold them all. Unbelievable.
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These past two days have been lulz.
On Wednesday the car broke down. Lol weapos;ve had the car for three weeks; itapos;s brand new, never been driven by anyone else, and the fucker breaks down. Like my mum needs any more ammunition to hate the car. Thankfully, it broke down in front of a pub and this SUPER AWESOME woman let my dad borrow her phone (lmao my dad thought she was a he until a friend clarified for him and explained everyone assumes she is a man lolol)� since my dadapos;s battery was dead. AND AND, when she heard the AA would be an hour, she then drove my mumapos;s shopping home since there was frozen stuff beginning to defrost. She was so polite and helpful.

ANYWAY, MotorBodies had a look at the car on Thursday after the AA guy failed to detect a problem. MotorBodies were like apos;lulz fixed now. Piss offapos; BUT GUESS WHAT? IT WASNapos;T FIXED It broke down at Pets At Home in the afternoon. So what did we do? We let the car roll us home. Lmao my dad would start the car, drive it for a couple of yards, then the engine would cut out so weapos;d just let the car roll to a stop and then repeat the process over. It took us over an hour just to get halfway home.

I was shitting myself everytime we came to roundabouts. Weapos;d only roll to the roundabouts when it was empty, then weapos;d all scream apos; GO, GO, GO QUICK, BEFORE THE OTHER CARS COMEapos;

I think someone out there must have taken pity on us or something, because it was round about halfway when the car started to kind of work. The stupid annoying light kept flashing, saying there was a problem and to stop, but the engine didnapos;t cut out like it kept doing before. So long as the car stayed below 30 mph and never came to a full stop, it was fine. So everytime there was traffic or weapos;d have to stop at crossings, weapos;d either slow down to 5 mph and roll along or weapos;d just scream at cars to get out of the way. It was quite a fun game, really. Haha I had to kiss the car. I promised that if it got us home in one piece and without cutting out, I would kiss it.

It was so much fun. Iapos;m glad I decided to go with them after all.
It should be fun during the school run - fucking traffic EVERYWHERE.



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I am just having the worst week ever.
mum leaves tomorrow and seriously, the family is gonna suffer.�
how can anyone live without their mums for a whole month? i just donapos;t see how iapos;m gonna be able to take that.�

ugh. And i got my class schedule today AND�THE�SCHOOL�MESSED�UP�MY�CDS�CHOICE AND�NOW�I�HAVE�NO�CDS. Frankly, it stresses me out to no end. Usually iapos;ll be like " ack�i need to talk to someone about this" but because of the week i had, itapos;s like "OH�MY�GOSH.�WHHHY�MEEEE?�DAMN�YOU�BITCH�(computer system)�I�HAAATEEEE�YOU".

i lost my phone charger and my phone is shit. Thought iapos;d just throw in all the CRAP iapos;ve had to deal with. NOT forgetting the fact that i will be practically broke for the next month because my dad will refuse to give me a decent allowance. It PAINS�him to know that i need more than $10 to get through the week�

i donapos;t want this right now.�
�

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I saw the debate last night. Crazy. For a couple minutes I thought, I could be president of the United States.� I am a naturally leader of the people that surround me and I can sway ALMOST anyone with my words.� I think those are the main things you need, all I would have to do is sit down for 6 months and study all this economyhealthcaretaxcutenergy policy stuff and Iapos;d be alright.� I wonder who would vote for me?� I am pretty stubborn and I can be a little radical when it comes to certain topics.. I take that back.. I used to be radical about things, lately (the past few years) Iapos;ve been open to other peoples opinions.

Opinions, Iapos;ve always wanted to explain my theory on this but I donapos;t believe anyone wants to hear it, thatapos;s why I have you live journal Anyway, we have a debate.. Usually(most of the time) it is one person arguing their opinion versus another.� My view of it all is, there is no right or wrong, just who is able to get the other to go along with their opinion.� I debate with people all the time that continually yell the phrase "Youapos;re not right Joe" at me.. And if they are observant, they realize I laugh everytime.� Again, going back to the fact that there is no right or wrong, its all about the presentation of our opinion in order to get the other party to agree with us. I donapos;t know why people get angry when the other person doesnapos;t agree with them, itapos;s never made sense to me and probably never will. Yes, it may not be going the way you want it to.. But in the end.. Itapos;s just your opinion.. Nobody even has to listen.. So be happy your even being able to express it to someone.

Now, there is another scenario which puts fact against opinion.. Simple solution... LOOK�IT�UP end of that one.

Then there is always the debate of fact versus the same�fact.. I love those.. You get so caught up in making your point clear(cause you know youapos;re defending a fact) that you donapos;t realize you are being defending the same side.. So after bouncing points off of eachother for hours you finally look it up and realize you were both arguing the same point but worded differently.� That usually leads to each person admitting that itapos;s the same... Awkward silence for 5 minutes.. Then drinkin begins. All a happy ending after that one.

There was�the occasions where I would oppose fact, when I knew I wasnapos;t right, and I would win, however�in fairness�to other people I�havenapos;t played that�game for a couple years, and probably wonapos;t every(unless Iapos;m feeling really playful.�That, to be honest, is what a good lawyer is, take OJ for example.. Everything in that court room pointed to him as being the killer.. Johnny knew it.. But he still managed to oppose fact and free his client, thatapos;s skill.

Haha, well with ALL that said. Vote for me
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